Learning Disability: Does It Define You?
As far back as I can remember, I always had a hard time comprehending text while reading at school. Starting in elementary school, it took me quite longer to learn new material. The struggle, anger & frustration continued throughout middle & high school and as well into college. Work was also impacted, after every training there was an assessment and guest what? I always failed the assessments, all of them!
It was hard growing up for me because other kids were “smarter” than me, at least that was my emotion. Homework got done and most of the time the answers were wrong, on every subject. The teachers and my parents determined early on, that I was immature and stubborn, which was their and the school’s diagnosis for my failing grades. In the early seventies, in my home country in Central American and after arriving in the US in the late seventies, learning disabilities we non existent.
While finishing elementary, middle and high school in the US, I had a negative impression on my overall view of school. After graduating high school, I had no plans to attend college. However, following my older brother’s advise, I registered at a local community college. The first few quizzes and tests resulted in all F’s, however, after a lot of struggles I finished my associate degree. I went on and enrolled at FIU, however, things got “too hard” and I decided to dropped out.
Anger is a powerful dominant emotion. I did not understand back then why I was so angry toward myself for not comprehending and learning simple text, especially in college. Anger has been a large part of my childhood-teen and adult life. Anger had defined me for most of my adulthood life, so I made a deliberate effort to stay away from college and difficult tasks requiring reading/comprehension.
This effort continued in the work place. Several jobs I’ve had, implemented training and at the end of every training session, an assessment was required. I always failed those assessments, however, I always excelled on the job performance. During my last employment, I applied to ten higher paying positions. The feedback I was given included not enough college. After receiving the last negative feedback, and after careful consideration and analyzing our finances, I decided to quit my job and go back to school. I did set a requirement though for myself, to get tested for LD’s (learning disability).
Upon re-registering at MDC, I willingly visited the access department. I was directed to the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. Upon speaking to a counselor and patiently waiting for few weeks of processing, I received an appointment with a clinical psychologist. At the appointment, the Dr. asked a few questions and dove right into testing. Once the Dr. was finished analyzing my results, he turned toward me and spoke in a calm and soothing voice, “you have a fifth grade reading comprehension learning disability“. Honestly, I don’t remember what else he said after that. I immediately texted my wife with the results, and she responded, “what, that makes no sense?”.
Still sitting in my car, after the appointment, I realized and finally understood, why I have been so angry toward myself, and once again, instantly the anger lifted and floated away. It felt as the fog cleared, and I instantly flashback from elementary school and back to the car in a blink of an eye. I immediately decided at that moment, anger defines me no more! I accepted, what defines me now is my wife, my children and my accomplishments, PERIOD! The next obvious question I asked myself was, how can a forty-two year old go through, elementary, middle school, high school and college, work and this was never detected by anyone, especially a teacher?
The moment I got home, I researched the internet for techniques how to work with my diagnosis. The words, re-telling stood out on a several websites, and that is the technique I am using in college today. As in elementary, I still have trouble comprehending text, I am now earning all A’s and B’s in college. As it turns out, after speaking to several guidance counselors at MDC, 84% of all the students that start college after high school, have a fifth grade reading comprehension deficit, ins’t that just amazing.
In retrospect, does a learning disability define you? In my opinion the answer is, NO. As the psychotherapist that is assisting me with my learning disability stated, I just see and learn things different, as we all unique human beings.
If you know of anyone that may have a learning disability, and has done something about, I would love to hear your insight, so kindly drop me an note in the comment area below.